(Joke courtesy of Mike Birbiglia)

I didn’t like to give everybody in my elementary homeroom class a Valentine, but it was the right thing to do. Besides the folks made me!

Surprisingly, it wasn’t like that with everyone. Some kids didn’t get many Valentines in their decorated boxes. What kind of shitty parents would not make their kids give a Valentine card to everyone in their class? Assholes!

To intentionally hurt a kid’s feelings by not giving him or her a Valentine is a shitty thing to do. Yep. That’s how I was raised. (Except for the swearing part.) Thanks, Ma and Pop!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Peace and love, peace and love!